Band:

The Cumshots

BiografieDuring the final months of the last century something had to be done. All the fun seemed to have vanished from the metal scene, and Norway looked to be the "ground zero" of pure metal idiocy. By God we were a nation of pathetic, underfed nitwits. Every make-up-wearing crossdresser in the country was the critics favourite, and none of them looked to be having more fun than your everyday 80´s gothfan. Max Cargo and El Doom thankfully took some action. Certain that this was gonna be the turning point of Norwegian hardrock they held auditions to find just the right drummer and bassplayer for their new band. Out of nothing came Rodrigues Morales. Dressed in his bluecollar-clothing he didn´t even bother to hook off his electrical equipment before auditioning. He just sat down, grinned and blew them both away. Man, this was one intense, little fellow. All they needed now was a guy on bass. After several weeks of testing they settled for a guy with a gigantic cranium and a funny looking tattoo. If he was able to lower his bass 15 cm he was in. Everything was running smoothly. Then a couple of weeks later as Cargo was in Trondheim cunthunting he came upon Mr Dean. It was a tiny place and Dean had just started playing with his band in front of an unenthusiastic audience of 10 people. But within a period of 15 minutes it was mayhem. Still nothing more than 10 people, but mayhem. It was napalm in the shape of man. He just had to become part of the Cumshots. After changing bassplayer and getting to work on the tunes, yet another guy joined the havoc. Tom Schlong. The sausageheaded pornmonger who´s feet never seemed to touch the ground whilst playing, made the perfect match. Both live and studiowise. Then it was all rolling.

The first gig in Flekkefjord (biblebelt-central) saw the soundengineer being arrested for holding a gun and possession of drugs, Morales getting some local girl pregnant and El Doom breaking a rib.

No better in Bergen with Tommy Dean breaking his right arm during the third song, finishing the set, partying till daybreak, being chased all over the city for trying to steal some lighting equipment in a local park, AND returning to Oslo the next day before going to hospital. He was in a cast for a month.


And it goes on and on. Schlong broke his rib, Cargo shat himself whilst driving, Dean was again in trouble during the quartfestival when he tried to attack Cargo with the mikestand and was taken care of by the guards. A gig that also saw 3 of the bandmembers rolling around in a windmill of fists during the final 2 songs of the set. Etc etc�During all this they have managed to get their first full-length album down. "Last sons of evil" is the beginning of the new era for Norwegian and Scandinavian hard rock. The idiocy has got to stop, and The Cumshots are gonna make it happen.
It ain´t rock; Mr no-good-"whine, whine, I´m so miserable"-fuck. It´s boner-rock asshole !Quelle: http://www.thecumshots.org/Discografie2001 Last Sons OF Evil

2002 The Cumshots vs Piledriver split 7"

2006 Just Quit Trying

2008 Just Quit Trying Re-Release
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Reviews

Just Quit Trying - Cover
In ihrem Heimatland Norwegen scheinen die Pornomaten um Sänger Max Cargo echte Stars zu sein, der Kollege selbst hat sogar eine Fernsehshow.